“If only I had something to take the edge off the loneliness. If only lonely were a more accurate word. It should sound much less pretty.”
Summary
You go through life thinking there’s so much you need…
Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.
Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.
My Thoughts
I really loved this book. I really really loved this book. Not because for the reasons I usually love books, but because of the rawness, the realness, of the story. I feel like Marin is a really relatable character. Everyone has felt heartbreak and loss and love and loneliness and betrayal. And so everyone can see themselves in Marin’s beautifully complex character. She is so easy to love, with her intricate thought processes and her appreciation for the small things. She wiggles into your heart and takes over your brain. She makes this book entirely impossible to put down. And Mabel. Mabel is the kind of friend I want to have. The kind that doesn’t give up on you. No matter how deep of a pit of despair and loneliness you find yourself in, Mabel will be there to help you back up.
This book is not about love. Although is has love in it. This book is not about depression or loneliness. Although is has depression and loneliness in it. This book is about finding yourself after you’ve been lost. This book is about friendships and the people that will never leave you. This book is about the temporariness of despair and the beauty of life.
I understand that people have a right to hate and love books. I understand that people have their own tastes, and not everyone will feel the same about a book. But I don’t understand how a person could not like this book. I do not understand how a person could leave this book unfinished. It is such a beautifully written book about the realities of life and the things that break us and the people who eventually help us heal.
Quotes
“I was okay just a moment ago. I will learn how to be okay again.”
“We were nostalgic for a time that wasn’t yet over.”
“It’s a dark place, not knowing.
It’s difficult to surrender to.
But I guess it’s where we live most of the time. I guess it’s where we all live, so maybe it doesn’t have to be so lonely. Maybe I can settle into it, cozy up to it, make a home inside uncertainty.”
“I could say the night felt magical, but that would be embellishment.
That would be romanticization.
What it actually felt like was life.”
Happy Reading!
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